So if you haven’t read my blog, seen my Facebook, instagram, Snapchat or heard me you would never know my ONLY daughter got married last night. If you fit in that category, Hello! I’m Melynda. I have Myasthenia Gravis and this is my blog that I write to share my thought and opinions. I’m not anyone special, just a wife, mother & Christian. Do I get it right all the time? Do I have my act together? Do I know what I’m doing? Heck NO! That would require me to be perfect or close and this chick is flawed! So if your still reading, welcome! 😁
Ok, so it’s 4:30 in the morning after my daughter’s wedding and all of these things are popping in my head. Things I feel I need to share for all the other mothers out there planning weddings for the first time.
1. Stress will eat you up and spit you out even if you don’t have MG! Add MG to the mix and that has equaled 6 ICU visits within the last 7 months. Sweet mercy, I know the staff at AU Healthcare 3 West Neuro ICU let out a sigh of relief tonight that I didn’t show up! They have become my second family! So my advice which is hard for me to take is don’t sweat the small stuff the day of the wedding. We had a schedule & a wedding coordinator – remove your watch, cut off your cell phone and simply enjoy the day. You should hire a photographer let them take the pictures. Soak up these memories in person!
2. You cannot prepare for everything so do the best you can. Yep, it’s hard advice to take too! Make lists, check them twice and start packing and labeling things the week before.
3. Hire a good caterer. I know a guy if you need him – Cal Berry. He pays attention to detail and is simply the best. I’m surprised his webpage isn’t thabomb.com. He saw my vision and made it better than I could have dreamed. My daughter did very little to plan her wedding so I hope she liked it!
4. Hire a wedding director. I have a friend I work with at one of the local funeral home. Murray is the cream of the crop! He can get people where they need to be and things rolling along so you don’t have to worry about it. Trust me I laughed with him & cried with him tonight he help make things run smoothly and if they didn’t I surely didn’t know about it!
5. In Lincoln County, GA we all have multiple jobs. I’m a nurse, lead the music at church & help out at the funeral home but only with computer stuff. You know as a nurse you take care of the living, let’s just say the living I’m taking care of is the funeral home owner that’s a little technically challenged. (His wife is probably giggling and he is probably rolling his eyes right now! 😂😂)
This leads me to my next thing. Our county coroner/retired school teacher/undertaker/preacher married our daughter. Yep, he has a bunch of titles! Kathryn wanted Mr. Paul Reviere (actual name BTW) to marry them. When she asked him her words were: “Mr. Reviere, I want you to marry me.” His response, “Kathryn I have a wife.” We were at the funeral home at the time and couldn’t help but laugh! He agreed and married them. He has always called Kathryn “Little Nurse” so before the ceremony he told her that if we would have had a rehearsal that he would have pronounced them Mr. & Mrs. Little Nurse. We all giggled. Then he went to her Maid of Honor, gave her the ring told her what to do followed by if you drop it, don’t bend over. I will say a prayer until you find it. When you do pull on my pants leg, stand up and I will say Amen! Morgan’s response was giggling and “He knew I’d need a back up plan!” When she passed the ring she looked directly at me and I smiled real big and gave her two thumbs up!! Mr. Reviere has known these girls all their life and it really made it extra special for all of them!!
6. Expect the unexpected! We were suppose to have Snowpocolyps on the wedding day. It amounted to 20 flakes. We thought it would keep people away but it didn’t. Packed house! Kathryn fretted over this the night before. She even said “Mama I am scared no one will show up.” I told her she couldn’t control that and it would be ok – as I worried about the same thing. When we got ready to enter there was a line waiting to be seated! Kathryn’s bridesmaids relayed the message of the church being full to which she replied “I didn’t think that many people liked me.” Her maid of honor responded “Me either!” Lots of giggling ensued. Laughter is always the best medicine especially when things are stressful!
7. Pamper yourself. Take the time to just do it. I had nails, hair & makeup done. It was super easy on me I just showed up!! I loved my hair & nails. Make up was ok. I do not ever pencil in my eyebrows and felt like I had these caterpillars tattooed on my head! NOT. A. FAN! So you might want to go for a trial run. It took about 3 hours to get use to the fake eyelashes too. So there was a time I felt like I had two sets of caterpillars. Just my advice!
8. The cake – wedding cakes are expensive! Take the time to choose the right person. I have a friend who does them. She graduated with my brother & she amazes me with her creations! Diana takes the time to get to know about the couple. She prays for them and then she puts her heart & soul into her cakes. They are simply beautiful and delicious. When we got home my husband said (as we are laying in bed) “You want another piece of cake?” I laughed! We were too lazy to go cut a slice so we will partake in the morning! It was a stunning cake I will not lie! It was delicious too!!
9. Let folks help you out. A lot of people offered their help to me since I have been sick. I honestly have a hard time asking for help and since getting sick I can’t do a lot of things I used to. This brings me to my next set of folks. Have key people to just be there for you. My cousin Gina (who is 9 months & 1 day younger than me) is like my sister. She told me she was coming to help. I am so glad she did! She picked up the sandwich tray for the girls, she helped me & Mama get dressed. She ran errands if I needed them. She was a God send! Another friend who’s daughter is getting married offered to have her hand ready to slap Kathryn if she started being a bridezilla. Suzanne had the slapping hand ready but didn’t need it. I’m still giggling about it! My co-workers came and they were my monitors. Alice instantly picked up on when I felt bad. When I sat down she was right there asking me what was wrong. I had taken off my Fitbit prior to the service and skipped a dose of medicine. When my speech started slurring I realized it. She stayed with me followed by my two nurses Danielle & Donna while my sister in law, Jenni went to find my meds. Tal instantly knew something was up and followed Jenni to search for my meds. Jenni also fixed me food. People like this are priceless to have. I knew when I needed something for myself it would happen. Plus, I think it gave Tal some relief to know I would be ok. We had made a back up plan if I were to crash at or before the wedding. It ensured the wedding would still go on and my folks would take care of me. I have the best friends and family!
10. When we started this process I decided to use the model I was given by my parents. Jaron & Kathryn are marrying period. I wanted to make sure that they had the best chance at making this work by working together as a team with his parents! After all they will be the other parents to Kathryn & grandparents to my grand children! I’ve never done this before so I simply told Nancy how I felt. She felt the same way! Let me tell you that I just got an entire set of family that I adore! Most of them I just met on Friday and I can’t wait until we get together again! I am thrilled that Kathryn married into such a wonderful family. The rehearsal dinner was laid back, cozy and allowed us old folks time to chat!! What’s funny is most of them live in Connecticut and here we are in Georgia. I was afraid they would be overwhelmed by our “county” – they embraced it! I’m excited for this new chapter in our lives too! Some of them I didn’t get to say goodbye to tonight but I will see them again! On a side note: Nancy planned her stuff from out of town not to mention they had hurricane damage to their home during this process! She amazed me with her mad skills!
11. Kathryn is very sentimental. Most people may not know that about her. She wanted to have things at the wedding that were heirlooms. So here are the things if you attended you might not have known. Her veil was MY veil. I had a moment when I realized the last time that veil was on a bride it was me and my daddy was walking me down the aisle. He died in 2015 so it was very emotional for me. She carried a handkerchief that Tal’s grandmother made with tatten made by her mother. Tal’s grandmother is 93 and was not able to attend so having a little piece of her there was so special. The silver goblets they toasted with belonged to Jaron’s parents, Nancy’s father was a silversmith and hand made them for their wedding day. They were stunning! I’m so thankful she included these things in the wedding! It made it extra special. She also danced with her dad to a song “The Best Day” by Taylor Swift. She cried when they danced. Tal told me because it reminded her of his Dad. I think both her Grandpas were brightly smiling from heaven tonight.
Now on a lighter note:
1. Tal walked me down the aisle. Did I mention I have Myasthenia Gravis? Did I mention I was in a formal dress & heels? That was my goals to be at the wedding and walk down the aisle. Tal is 6′ 3″ tall and he literally drug me down the aisle. I made people giggle when I said through my smiling teeth “slow down”. When we got home he ask if he was I really walking too fast? I just looked at him in disbelief. I asked him if he knew how close I was to falling over. I mean it’s not hard to state the obvious when they are two steps in front of you dragging you. 🙄
2. Best feeling ever…taking out my contacts and washing my face. Have mercy at the make up I had on. I wasn’t sure how to get the eyelashes off but enough scrubbing they just came right off. Greatest feeling ever! Oh I removed the other caterpillars too! That really took some scrubbing!
3. You probably want to know why I’m up at this hour. Leg cramps! Horrific, deep leg cramps that woke me up with pain. The only thing I can do is try standing and walk them out. If that doesn’t work a good epsom salt soak helps. So I got in a warm bath only to bring me to my next advice. WASH your hair before you go to bed. We got home at 11pm and I washed my face and laid down. I was exhausted. Well after about 15 minutes relaxing in the tub I realized the can of root pump and 2 cans of hair spray had me glued to the tub wall. Have mercy! I had to use my toes to cut the shower on to unglue me! It was comical and I was trying not to wake my husband. Well, the great gasp I let out when the cold shower water hit me the face remedied that! He woke up only to realize I was ok and then went right back to sleeping. So take 10 minutes to wash that hair! You can thank me later! 😂
I can honestly say the wedding was perfect! Every single bit! I am certainly glad it’s over! I wish I could have spoken with everyone there. I tried my best but it was packed. Our baby is married to the man of her dreams. I have gained a son and whole new family. I can take today to rest up, before going back to work on Monday…Life is good!
Thanks for reading! ~ Melynda
P.S. Kathryn & Jaron if you happen to be reading this – Adam said y’all owe him big time! Hahahaha! He will be collecting! He has toted stuff & not complained one bit. So I decided that y’all can be His help with prom decorating. That sounds fair right? It’s just one weekend! 😂😂😂 I forgot Cash probably feels the same way. While y’all were honeymooners they had to pack up all the stuff at Sacred Heart to get it home then unpack it once we got here. There is no telling what he’s expecting as payback! 😂😂😂