Oh MG! (Myasthenia Gravis)

As I sit here this morning, I am so thankful for God’s provision in my life. In the last two days I have lived an emotional journey. I shouldn’t say “I” because I’m not alone. Every single person that lives near me, every single coworker, the majority of my family have lived through these tumultuous few days. It has been rough and this morning I feel like I am coming down off of an adrenaline rush. This crash is going to be something. I can feel it in the twitching in my face and the drooping of my eye but in my spirit I feel God’s presence telling me it will be ok. My children are safe. Our moms are safe. We are safe. I have a peace this morning that I am ashamed to say I did not have yesterday. Yesterday I let the stress take over as I rode around and saw the devastation around the county we live in. The trees completely through houses and both of ours are standing with little to no damage. My mom had a tree land on hers but when Adam started cutting it off the wisteria vines that were wrapped around it gently lifted it off of her house. It was almost like God’s hand gently laid the tree down on my mom’s house so it did not cause any damage. Our daughter Kathryn in Augusta had the same experience. Two large old trees came down on either side of her house and the only damage was the power supply pulled away from the house. My heart aches for friends who have lost everything. The picture on Facebook are devastating.

Tal and I are prepared for crazy situations because I am nutty that way. I want to make sure we have food stored up, water on hand and a generator just in case. Hurricane Helene caught a lot of people off guard. I never dreamed I would be having a conversation with my husband about how many hours a day we can run a generator with the gas we have on hand to make it a week with no power. My weekly treatment medications are in my refrigerator and are temperature sensitive. They are not cheap, this 3 month supply was billed for over $53,000. I have 9 doses left. I don’t know about you but I don’t have that money laying around to replace that. The stress and anxiety I have been holding in has had a powerful hold over me. This morning it’s different. Why you ask? Because Melynda stopped trying to be in control and just gave it to God. This morning before Tal cranked up the generator and turned on ESPN (my nemesis of TV stations 🤯) I heard God in the songs of the crickets, I felt God in the coolness of the morning and I surrendered all of my worries and stress over to Him. My goodness, the peace I have as I type this is so much better than the stress I’ve been holding in. I pray that no matter what you are going through that you can find that peace.

Just like all of our neighbors, Tal and I have a lot of work ahead of us. There is storm debris all over our property that we will be cleaning up in the weeks and months ahead but that is ok. We have been planning on renovating the house and that will be sooner rather than later. We have learned through this there are things we want so we can be better prepared for next time. Isn’t that what life is about? Living, learning and improving our response to situations until we take our final breath. I just wash my knuckle-headed self would learn to trust God from the start and not try to do it myself.

During the storm I prayed; after the storm I prayed but tried to take control of everything. Melynda needs to learn to take a breath, relax and trust God completely. I’m such a knot head 🤦🏻‍♀️

As you read this it’s my hope you are safe with a roof over your head, food to eat and you have the peace that only God can give. If you don’t have these I pray that someone brings a little Jesus to you today.

Thanks for reading ~ Melynda

Today is especially a hard day. My Aunt Vera went home to be with Jesus on December 26. Today I will be speaking at her service and this is what I plan to say. My plan is to publish this right before the service. I hope I remember.

My Aunt Vera Jane Fuller Brandenburg quietly slipped away in her sleep. She had spent the last few weeks happier than she has been in a while, seeing family, friends and celebrating her favorite holiday. Quietly was never a word used to describe Aunt Vera. Her loudness was NEVER obnoxious. It was a find everything funny, laugh until you cackle and your sides hurt kind of loud. Growing up in a huge family there was always a lot going on when we would get together. My dad had six siblings, one of which was Aunt Vera. When everyone got together it was a lot! I was always stuck at the kids table but, the adult table would always be where the live action was. Everyone would get to snickering, then cackling and then sounding like a bunch of asthmatics in a room with a thousand smokers. Eventually I would be old enough to get in on the laughter. Most of the time everyone would be laughing at each other or something was said. Most people wouldn’t find it funny but Aunt Vera always did. My conversations with her always had laughter even when she felt bad she would find something funny. I’m proud to say I have that trait but it gets me in a pickle- a lot. 😂😂 Aunt Vera used to tell me “the worst whipping I got was because I was laughing and I couldn’t help it!” Then we both would break out in another fit of giggles.

Aunt Vera was always perpetually late for everything! Meals would be paused and birthday celebrations would be late because we were waiting for Aunt Vera with the cake. Somehow, whether it was because those cakes were always so good or the constant laughter made it easy to forget about the tardiness. My Grandpa Fuller used to say Vera was going to be late for her funeral. I guess today we found out. 😳🤣

Another thing that makes me think of Aunt Vera is a good old clearance rack! This woman could buy you a 12 place setting of fine china for $75 or a designer button up dress shirt for $1.25! I’m not kidding she scoped out the sales, used the coupons and bought things for pennies of the original price. She also loved Costco and Sam’s. Their stock will take a hit since she is no longer here to take her sometimes daily trips. Honey-baked ham lines will be shorter, all nuggets will be whole and hot fudge sundaes will contain the hot fudge. If you know you know! 🤣

All joking aside she would be upset with all of us for crying like we have over her death. She has gone on to a better place where there is no more pain, no more sickness, nor more sorrow and no more death! She is no doubt worshipping at the feet of Jesus right this very moment.

I have been praying over what to say at her funeral. This same scripture has been on repeat in my mind. It comes from the book of Proverbs 31:10, 25-30.

”Who can find a virtuous wife? For her worth is far above rubies.“…
‭‭”Strength and honor are her clothing; She shall rejoice in time to come. She opens her mouth with wisdom, And on her tongue is the law of kindness. She watches over the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness. Her children rise up and call her blessed; Her husband also, and he praises her: “Many daughters have done well, But you excel them all.” Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.“
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Aunt Vera was THIS woman, she gave constantly, loved with every fiber of her being and lived a God fearing life. The example of her life is shown in each one of us. Her love is evident by the crowd here today to celebrate her life. It’s up to us to carry on the legacy she has left us with. In talking with my husband this morning about Aunt Vera he reminded me of this poem:

The Dash by Linda Ellis

I read of a man who stood to speak
at the funeral of a friend
He referred to the dates on the tombstone
from the beginning…to the end.

He noted that first came the date of birth
and spoke the following date with tears,
but he said what mattered most of all
was the dash between those years.
For that dash represents all the time
that they spent alive on earth.
And now only those who loved them
know what that little line is worth.
For it matters not, how much we own —
the cars…the house…the cash.
What matters is how we live and love
and how we spend our dash.
So, think about this long and hard.
Are there things you’d like to change?
For you never know how much time is left
that can still be rearranged.
If we could just slow down enough
to consider what’s true and real,
and always try to understand
the way other people feel.
And be less quick to anger
and show appreciation more,
and love the people in our lives
like we’ve never loved before.

If we treat each other with respect
and more often wear a smile,
remembering this special dash
might only last a little while.
So, when your eulogy is being read
with your life’s actions to rehash,
would you be proud of the things they say
about how you spent YOUR dash?

I choose to spend my dash living, laughing and loving just like Aunt Vera.

My goodness if I’ve learned anything at all in my lifetime it’s that when God presses on your heart to do something, do it. The rewards are much greater than the regret. Let me tell you I have regret about things I should have done but chose not to step out of my box and do. Once I’ve learned to live and let God lead, life is grand! I make mistakes e-v-e-r-y-d-a-y but I know the one who forgives! The hardest thing to do is either forgive myself or the one who wrongs me. How much time have I wasted on my own hurt feelings? Too much!

Every morning I start my day the same way. I am a creature of habit and a little OCD. 😆 I read my Bible, do a sudoku, do Wordle and then read my e-edition of the Augusta Chronicle – obituaries first (it’s a nurse thing). During this time Tal will get to stirring around and bring me a cup of coffee. I do all of this while sitting up in bed. I don’t want to get out and walk around, I just want to start my day off the same way every morning. This morning these words kept running through my mind – invest in the future.

Shouldn’t we, as Christians, be investing in the future? I hear and have even said “I know the ending of the story” but what about the middle? How am I making a difference in the middle of God’s story? He put me here for such a time as this and what am I supposed to do to share His mercy and grace? Have you watched the news lately or even watched the videos that pop up on social media? My generation has failed in the part of sharing God’s mercy and grace! I need to tied up my boot straps and get to working!

It only takes a generation to forget how things are done! I remember my grand parents and how they did things that might have taken longer than we do now. The difference was there was no instant gratification through a cell phone or social media. We had to talk about it, figure it out through trial and error. I cherish those memories. Nowadays you have family meals and only see the top of the kids heads because they are buried in a tablet or cell phone. Will they even have any memories of us? Nope! If we don’t make specific time without technology we will not be more than a picture or granite marker one generation from now.

Ok I’m rambling but here is my point. Do you attend church? Are you active in things church offers? Why not? You have too much going on in life to make the time? Company is coming and you have to cook and clean? It’s the only time you can play golf or hunt? Wait, it’s your only day off so you want to rest? Is that it? The Bible tells us in Genesis that even God rested on the Sabbath day. But here is the thing, the other seven days God worked to create a beautiful world for us to live in. What are we doing to share His glory, mercy and grace to the next generation? This world is lost, dying and going to hell if we, the body of believers in Jesus Christ don’t stand for what we believe in. Jesus died for you and me alike – sinners and nothing more. We were born to sin but through his grace and mercy on the cross we can live knowing we are forgiven. Shouldn’t we share that with others?

Tal and I moved across the county from the home where we raised our children and lived for the last 28 years. We moved into his grandparents farm house. It’s much smaller, simpler and quieter than living at the lake. A lot has changed, my community, our marriage, our lives and our priorities. It’s been a lot but the one thing that has been steady and unwavering is God. He is my constant. He has been pressing me for months to “move” and I am the one that has been trying to not make changes. I don’t like anything about change. I’ve tried everything to see what He has meant by “move” until it clicked. He has new plans for me, greater plans for my life. Will they be easy? Absolutely not! It’s going to take quite a bit of work and I will be stepping back from something I’ve been doing for 24 years! I’ve cried many tears but I know God’s plan is greater than mine and as long as He gives me the strength to share Him with the world I plan on being His hands and feet to those around me.

If you have read this far, thanks but I have a challenge for you. Make time for God in your life, invest in the future, be active in church and if you don’t attend regularly find a church near you to go to. After all, how can you invite your neighbors to church if you aren’t close by? A church isn’t somewhere you just go for one hour a week, it’s where you go to learn, share, love others, get loved on and invest in the future.

Thanks again for reading! ~Melynda

Do you ever look back and think I could have done that better? Ugh! The what ifs and should haves can be the worst thing for our Christian minds. The answer is always going to be yes! As we grow as Christians we can see our mistakes and how we could have obviously done them better. This is being refined in the fire at its finest! Lately I have been thinking about how I feel like I could have been a better parent so, I guess this blog post could be for parents with young children. Any who, I hope it helps you feel like you are going to survive because I know there are times when you are in the trenches of parenting you feel like you are not going to make it to the other side!

Looking back there are things I wish I would have handled a little better, actually a lot better. At that time in my life I was straddling the fence with one foot in the world and the other in church. This is NOT the way to raise children; I know that now. You are called to be a witness and your children should be those you witness to. I say all the time the hardest people to witness to are your family because they see you in good, bad and ugly.

The next thing I wish I had done is simply taken the time to do. Take the time to snuggle in bed two extra minutes or stop and listen when they want to talk about nothing. You can’t get this back and I miss those times. The moments when we would try to interpret Adam’s lisp or Kathryn’s talk at 4 like she was a grown adult for hours on end. You know I have to share stories! Haha! I can embarrass my kids if I want to, I birthed them. One night Adam came and got in the bed with us, this was very rare he was always an independent sleeper. He climbed in the bed with us and said he was scared. After making sure he was ok, Adam let out this big sigh. When asking if he was ok he said “I need dubbers.” Tal and I were perplexed. We could not figure out for the life of us what he was talking about. So he repeated the same thing. Finally I think we asked him where would we get the dubbers to which he replied that Tal pulled them off. We both laughed and Tal gave Adam the COVERS he had obviously pulled over on himself. Tal & I will still call them dubbers on occasion. 😂😂

Lastly, I wish I had lived so that they could see that my imperfections could be made forgivable and right through Christ. I was listening to an audiobook this week and one of the statements shared in it was that when our children are born they are sinners and we have to teach them how not to sin. That statement struck me like a cast iron skillet to the noggin. If we as parents don’t teach our children the difference in walking with Christ and walking in the world, who will? The ways of the world will always win! I would let the act of parenting, work and everything else around me at the time take the spotlight off of Christ when I would feel overwhelmed. Back then I stressed over the small stuff! Don’t do it! Time is fleeting! Live in the moment and not in the what’s happening tomorrow.

My children are hard working, responsible, good adults but do I think I could have done things better by them? Yes, we can be our own best critics! I can tell you this though, there is redemption in Christ! He sees and knows our faults and still forgives us! As a Mama of grown children, their names flow off my lips more now that they ever have. I don’t have them to raise, but I do have them to pray over. When I think about how much I love them, Christ loves them even more!

Parents of adult children, forgive yourselves, I had to! God created them for such a time as this. They still need you even if they don’t recognize it yet, pray for them daily!

Thanks for reading my ramblings! May God bless you and your family! ~Melynda

A friend of mine posted on Facebook two pictures of herself. Her wedding day and a more recent picture. She stated her thoughts on herself then and now her expectations and her life experiences. It made me stop and think of things in my life and how if I could have seen into the future when I was younger what I would have done differently. I know I can’t change my life but I thought maybe some of these young ladies that are just starting out may find it useful.

Be yourself! Don’t try to be someone you are not. You are created in God’s image and are perfectly and wonderfully made. Stop looking at worldly imperfections because when you get older and gravity takes hold you will think; Wow, I had a smoking hot body when I was younger! Now I just try to keep it all covered and tucked in! 😂😂

Don’t sweat the small stuff! I tried to keep everything in this perfect perception I had of how life is supposed to be. Don’t do it! Go snuggle with your husband or baby. There comes a time that you might not have them. They will remember when you took that time out of the business life throws at you to devote for them. I wish I had worried less and enjoyed more!

Slow down! You do not have to say Yes to everything! Things come along like a grave illness 😑 that will make you slow down. Don’t be like me! Slow your roll before it slows you!

Build each other up! I don’t know about you but it’s hard when someone is hateful. I want to lash out and be ugly back. A few kind words doesn’t cost a thing and if you can’t find anything nice to say just zip it! I struggle with the zipping part. 😣

Let it go! I would be willing to say that my mama has told me this a thousand times in my life. I have let folks steal my joy because I can’t let something go. Don’t let them. Chances are the don’t have joy in the first place and they are miserable. Pray for them. Most likely the thing they need is a true relationship with Jesus – the Real Joy Giver!

Make God a priority! Read your Bible everyday. There are plenty of apps and online Bible Studies you can’t do. Take 15-20 minutes out of your day for the one who made you. I promise it will give you a different perspective on life. My grandma used to say “Good stuff in good stuff out!” It is so true. The world bombards us with worldly things that when I was a child would never see the light of day! Protect your heart, protect your family and protect your future!

Thanks for reading! ~ Melynda

Tal and I have graciously been given the honor of owning his grandparents property and home. We have been married almost 32 years and it has been his dream. Our plan is to retire on it. For him it is home. For me it’s peace and comfort. There are so many great memories at this place. Memories of loved ones that are no longer with us; along with Christmas, Easter and New Year’s gatherings. Time stands still here to us. It floods me with memories of my own grandparents because it’s simple here. There is well water, a clothes line, fireplace for heat, box fans for air and one little bathroom with a door to beat on when someone is holding you up! I do a lot of beating on the door. 😂

His grandmother lived to be 94 and if you knew Ruby Walton her yards were meticulous and she had every flower you could imagine and then some. Time has not been on our friend since the yards haven’t been tended as they have needed. Tal tells our (adult) children that we need to have a family day at Big Mama’s. I’m sure you are thinking does it work? Do they come? Uuhhmm; that answer is no. 😂😂

Tal bless his heart tries to keep it cleaned up but it is overwhelming and it’s not like I am a great help. I never know when my body will be up to the task. We try but, it is nothing compared to Ruby! How in the world she kept all of this up is beyond us. When we find some new flower or even bricks randomly placed around something we have to call his mama to come down here and see what it is. There have been times of uncertainty so, we just act like something is there and keep checking to see what pops up. It’s like a treasure hunt with flowers! 😂

I’ve been off this week for doctors appointments and such but last night we decided (spur of the moment) to spend the night. I got to sleep in, make my coffee and walk around the yard. Tal suggested it. He told me I would be surprised at what’s blooming. I was certainly delighted by all of the beautiful blooms! There is so much that needs to be done to get the yard cleaned but the blossoming flowers caught my eyes over the pine straw, briars, weeds and sticks.

It reminds me of God’s goodness. If we choose to see the ugly in things we do. But what about when we choose to look for God’s goodness? There is beauty even in the pine straw, briars, weeds and sticks! We just simply have to make the choice on how we want to see things. I’m thankful for a God who sees the beauty in me even when I’m at my worst. We have an always forgiving God who loves us! It gives me goosebumps to know I am so loved!

Here are a few pictures from this morning. Remember God sees your beauty even when you don’t feel beautiful! ~Melynda

What a question to ask, do you agree? I mean there are daily things I feel like giving up on. This dang illness is one of them. I have said many times I wouldn’t wish it on my own worst enemy and I mean that. It comes on at random times, is unforgiving. It is difficult to make plans and actually follow through with them. I hate it for my husband if no one else. We should be enjoying each other and here he is stuck with someone that can rarely leave the house most days. I am not complaining, I love my life; my family, my job, my church…the list goes on and on but I am writing this because I feel like it’s good for me to get it off my chest and for others to know they are not alone. Do I ever give up? That answer is a flat out NO! Why? Because I know and have a relationship with the real Life Giver, Great Physician, Prince of Peace, Almighty, Everlasting God! Big G: GOD! He plucked me out off the pits of hell when He did not have to! For that I am ever thankful and will praise Him with my last breath!

Some weeks it seems like the hits keep coming. It has been 11 weeks since I have had my IVIG, it’s an antibody treatment that keeps me working moving, literally. This week I am running like a sloth through tar! Typing this is taking forever because I can only type a little bit and then I have to rest my arms. On a lighter note, yesterday I got my very first Valentine’s supper in bed! What a life! HAHA! Learning to adapt is the key!

Don’t you think that is the way God wants us: Ever learning, ever adapting to His will and not ours? In light of my health issues I think that when we have to go through valleys so deep you think you are in hell we learn to adapt by leaning on him….completely. There are days when I literally cry out in prayer and nothing but tears flow. He knows our needs and he knows our hearts. I am HIS and HE is mine! What a statement! The Creator of our universe cares about every little tear I shed and every need I lift up to Him. Why should I give up when I know who has me in the palm of His hand. Each day I live is one day closer to meeting Him and what a day that will be!

I do want to explain my reason for not blogging lately. I was told by someone close to me that I shouldn’t put all of my business on the internet, that I should delete it and so I did. It really crushed me. I deleted the entire blog. How can I reach others if I cannot express myself? My daily life consists of being cooped up in my house with two dogs for most of the day. It leaves very few opportunities for me to express myself. Blogging does! It allows me to jot down my feelings and thoughts and most importantly SHARE THEM! I have felt robbed but no more! So, for now, I will keep blogging until God decides He has other plans for me.

Thanks for reading! Have a wonderful day! ~Melynda