Look Back

Do you ever look back and think I could have done that better? Ugh! The what ifs and should haves can be the worst thing for our Christian minds. The answer is always going to be yes! As we grow as Christians we can see our mistakes and how we could have obviously done them better. This is being refined in the fire at its finest! Lately I have been thinking about how I feel like I could have been a better parent so, I guess this blog post could be for parents with young children. Any who, I hope it helps you feel like you are going to survive because I know there are times when you are in the trenches of parenting you feel like you are not going to make it to the other side!

Looking back there are things I wish I would have handled a little better, actually a lot better. At that time in my life I was straddling the fence with one foot in the world and the other in church. This is NOT the way to raise children; I know that now. You are called to be a witness and your children should be those you witness to. I say all the time the hardest people to witness to are your family because they see you in good, bad and ugly.

The next thing I wish I had done is simply taken the time to do. Take the time to snuggle in bed two extra minutes or stop and listen when they want to talk about nothing. You can’t get this back and I miss those times. The moments when we would try to interpret Adam’s lisp or Kathryn’s talk at 4 like she was a grown adult for hours on end. You know I have to share stories! Haha! I can embarrass my kids if I want to, I birthed them. One night Adam came and got in the bed with us, this was very rare he was always an independent sleeper. He climbed in the bed with us and said he was scared. After making sure he was ok, Adam let out this big sigh. When asking if he was ok he said “I need dubbers.” Tal and I were perplexed. We could not figure out for the life of us what he was talking about. So he repeated the same thing. Finally I think we asked him where would we get the dubbers to which he replied that Tal pulled them off. We both laughed and Tal gave Adam the COVERS he had obviously pulled over on himself. Tal & I will still call them dubbers on occasion. 😂😂

Lastly, I wish I had lived so that they could see that my imperfections could be made forgivable and right through Christ. I was listening to an audiobook this week and one of the statements shared in it was that when our children are born they are sinners and we have to teach them how not to sin. That statement struck me like a cast iron skillet to the noggin. If we as parents don’t teach our children the difference in walking with Christ and walking in the world, who will? The ways of the world will always win! I would let the act of parenting, work and everything else around me at the time take the spotlight off of Christ when I would feel overwhelmed. Back then I stressed over the small stuff! Don’t do it! Time is fleeting! Live in the moment and not in the what’s happening tomorrow.

My children are hard working, responsible, good adults but do I think I could have done things better by them? Yes, we can be our own best critics! I can tell you this though, there is redemption in Christ! He sees and knows our faults and still forgives us! As a Mama of grown children, their names flow off my lips more now that they ever have. I don’t have them to raise, but I do have them to pray over. When I think about how much I love them, Christ loves them even more!

Parents of adult children, forgive yourselves, I had to! God created them for such a time as this. They still need you even if they don’t recognize it yet, pray for them daily!

Thanks for reading my ramblings! May God bless you and your family! ~Melynda