After being in the hospital I came across this picture of me that was sent in a text message to Tal. I don’t know who took it or how it was sent to my husband but if this is not the perfect picture of me and my relationship with God I don’t know what is! I am not perfect. Let me repeat: I 👏🏻 AM 👏🏻 NOT 👏🏻 PERFECT 👏🏻! I struggle with my flesh just like everyone else! I choose to ask Him to forgive me while I keep learning and growing as best as I can. Have I achieved my goal? No and I cannot ever achieve my goal while on this earth but, I can strive to get closer to the mark and finish the best I can through daily time in the Bible and prayer. What better way to get to know someone than a daily intentional conversation?
Now back to the picture. Pretend that phone is what I am struggling with for instance I will use Myasthenia Gravis. I give it to God for His help and healing. I do good for a while and then where is my problem? Back with me trying to fix it. Ugh! The struggle is real! It seems I do this with everything! Evidently I am a slow learner because, I’m going on four years of foolishness just with Myasthenia Gravis. Worry is one I think I have racked up about 50 years worth of. I know I am not the only one that struggles with things. I just wanted to put that out there that I struggle too. My sin is not any worse than yours. God doesn’t see sin as different it’s all the same and it ALL separates us from Him unless we ask forgiveness and learn from it.
Tal and I have been able to have candid conversations about some things that I am struggling with and I have had to confess that I do struggle with worry and fear at times but I know God is in control and He has a plan. A plan I want to stick to and see unfold! He has proven time and time again that He can pull me through.
While the picture is not a glamour shot, it shows the struggle of life. You see I am hooked up to a ventilator but, I was breathing on my own. There are restraints on my wrists that were loosened so I could text what I needed and more than likely my eyes were closed in prayer. The battle I was facing was three hours of being hooked up to all of that while trying to stay calm, breathe normally and stay calm. Yes! I know I repeated myself; you try staying calm while totally alert with all of that in your throat! 😫 The reward was getting all of that junk out and being able to go home after some rehab and safety checks. What I didn’t know then? The Corona virus would hit that hospital within a couple of weeks of me being there. How is that for protection? Only God can give you that much protection, that much peace and that much comfort! His plan is always far greater that what we deserve! He also placed a wonderful group of doctors, nurses and other staff to brighten my day while I was there. But let’s not forget – the phone still represented the Myasthenia Gravis fight I so desperately wanted to win on my own. So I am praying and asking God to help while still holding on to the problem. 🙄 How is that for messed up? I know God rolls his eyes at me (a lot), probably just like my parents did when I was a teenager.
When I came home from the hospital I felt pressed to pray for people because there were so many that prayed for me during that hospital stay and it worked! I am still here and I have a purpose! On a Facebook post I asked if I could pray for anyone and currently I have a two page list of names of people who reached out to me; some are specific prayers and some are in general. You see, now is the time we need to be praying for each other, praying over our country and it’s leaders. We are at war with a unknown enemy and if this is when I see Jesus I am going out fighting!
May God give you the strength, peace and protection that you need in the days ahead. If you want to be added to my prayer list, please message me, I would be glad to pray for you.
Much love and may God bless you! ~Melynda