Resting….

Here I sit day three in the hospital waiting on my last IVIG treatment. The funny thing is if my insurance company had cooperated I could be getting this at home or out patient but because of their lack of brilliance here I sit. The money doesn’t matter to me. It seems like I will die owing medical bills, the hospital has agreed to my payment plan and if they are fine with it I am too. For weeks I have called and spoke with the people at the pharmacy to make sure they have what they need, stress the important of this treatment and they have trudged along like I’m some number or piece of paper in a box. That exactly what they think I am. They told me last week that they were going to teach me how to give myself IVIG. For those of you that don’t know it’s a blood product number one, I would never attempt to give it to someone much less myself. Number two when I look down I cannot even see the port site and finally when they accessed my port in the hospital they used sterile technique. I wondered if I would have asked for mirrored ceilings to accomplish said task in a sterile technique if the would have paid for that? Instead (as my Mama says) I let my butt overload my mouth and asked the guy on the phone if he was a flipping idiot? Then I just hung up. I knew that it would only get worse and cause me stress. I stewed over it and call my nurse case manager with insurance. She called them and told me to call back Friday it should be set up. Ok, will do! This was Tuesday. 

On Thursday when I got out of bed I felt like I had not slept all night. I could not hold the hairdryer up long enough to dry my hair. Thank goodness I have an electric toothbrush or I couldn’t have done that.  As the day progressed at work I could not hold my head up because of weakness in my neck and shoulders.  I called my doctor who suggested I increase one of my meds and go rest. I left work went to my Aunt’s house and crashed. After over twelve hours of sleeping the next morning I was maybe 10% better than the day before. By 11am I had double vision. If you have never had double vision it is horrible. Seeing one of some things is bad enough but good grief two of everything is mind boggling! I knew what was to come next if I didn’t get this ball rolling, so I call the pharmacy and they politely said “Mrs Poss it will be at least two more weeks”  before we have final approval. Are. You. Kidding. Me?  I replied “That’s fine, I am having issues and you can foot this hospital bill. I’m pretty sure it won’t be $138,000 like the last one but it will be close. Much more expensive that HOME INFUSIONS! Thank you for absolutely nothing! Have a great weekend! ” and with that I hung up and proceeded to call my doctor. His nurse told me to go to the ER. Away I went! 

The neurologist agreed that it was time for the infusion,  let’s do it and with that I was admitted. I don’t enjoy being here. I try to keep my family’s life as normal as possible so most of the time I’m by myself but that’s ok. Whatever it takes to get well so I can get on with life.  I want to inspire, motivate & help! I want to be the nurse not, the patient; but God has other plans. And I am praising him through the hills and the valleys because He is the same God through them all! Through Myasthenia Gravis I have learned to stop, rest, enjoy, love deeper, love louder (I tell people way more often than I used to) and Praise Him through it all! We just have to rest & trust His will no matter what the circumstance. If He gives you the peace about your situation know that there are better things ahead. Know that it doesn’t matter what others think He knows and has great plans for you!  I can’t wait to see what is waiting on the other side!  Happy Sunday! ~ Melynda

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