I have gone back to work, not half days but full 8 hour days. Crazy? Maybe but I drive an hour a one way I want to make it worth the drive. So with that being said I made it through my first 40 hour week of work since being diagnose with MG. was it tough? No lie – it was, but I pushed through and made it. I kept my chin up and enjoyed being with my work peeps who ever so graciously welcomed me back with hugs and love! It doesn’t get any better than knowing you are loved and missed! Work week – good; And then came yesterday. 😔
Yesterday when I woke up I felt like a had a noose around my neck and someone was pulling it down to the floor. Every step, every movement was a struggle and I was not in a good mood. It was obvious in every thing I said, I did & each tear I shed. And trust me there were a lot of tears yesterday! I don’t like it when I feel that way and I don’t want people to see me when I feel horrible. But yesterday was also a celebration for my husband’s grandmother- she turned 93! Who at my age gets to still have a grandma around? Big Mama as we lovingly call her has been my grandma for 25 years and I am so thankful she is still here. Even though her seeing me yesterday has probably worried her & my mother in law like crazy! It’s the disease; Some days are better than others, what can I say? I went, we celebrated and I ate 2 pieces of cake (no icing) it was delicious! I’m on heaping doses of prednisone and everything is delicious. Hahaha! Big Mama was beautiful as ever & had her children, grandchildren and great grandchildren there to celebrate. My kids took a picture with her to celebrate. That’s my baby Adam (the tallest 😂) on the left, Jaron, my future son in law in the middle and my oldest, Kathryn on the right – Big Mama is seated of course. 😍
Back to my point: Everybody is entitled to a pity party. A temporary pity party, not a wallow in it, lay in it – let’s bask in the pity party glory. Well I completely failed yesterday I wallowed in it. I couldn’t seem to see the good in my day because of my pity party. This morning I woke up to a new day. A brighter day. A better day! The noose was gone – Praise Jesus! I was awakened by the TV at 2pm and could not go back to sleep. I got up, tidied up the house a little, rested and then was able to fix breakfast for my family! The second time since I got sick. I got dressed and went to church where I left with my toes hurting because God had a message he wanted me to hear.
Our Pastor’s sermon was “Are you like Jonah or Jesus?
The sermon included the following scripture:
“The word of the Lord came to Jonah son of Amittai: “Get up! Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because their wickedness has confronted Me.” However, Jonah got up to flee to Tarshish from the Lord’s presence. He went down to Joppa and found a ship going to Tarshish. He paid the fare and went down into it to go with them to Tarshish, from the Lord’s presence.” Jonah 1:1-3 HCSB
“Make your own attitude that of Christ Jesus, who, existing in the form of God, did not consider equality with God as something to be used for His own advantage. Instead He emptied Himself by assuming the form of a slave, taking on the likeness of men. And when He had come as a man in His external form, He humbled Himself by becoming obedient to the point of death — even to death on a cross.” Philippians 2:5-8 HCSB
The first example was Jonah – God gave him a task and he ran from it! Cue the stomping on MY TOES!!!
The second was Jesus – God gave Him a task He didn’t have to do. He did it anyway and gave the greatest sacrifice of all. His life for mine!
Yes, I realized that I failed miserably yesterday. I WAS A JONAH! Oh it doesn’t stop there either. I get a devotion emailed to me that I usually read first thing in the morning but today I didn’t get it until after 1pm. Here is a picture of my email:
OK LORD! I hear you loud and clear! I have a job to do – NOT a PITY PARTY to wallow in. I refused to be more concerned with how I look and feel but to be concerned with my job to better the kingdom of God! My response to how I feel directly effects my immediate family the people I WANT to spend eternity with in heaven. I failed them completely yesterday. I had to ask God to forgive me and I hope I can be a better example of God’s grace than I was yesterday. We should show the love of Jesus through our actions to win souls for the Kingdom of Heaven. Yes, we are human, we have bad days, we are not perfect but we do have that Almighty Amazing Grace that covers us and forgives us and allows us to learn!
Well Melynda – lesson learned! Get back on that horse! Plow a path! Fight MG!
God is still in control even when I am not! Praise Him! Praise Him! Jesus our Blessed Redeemer!